Ohio State Jokes
Tomorrow at 3:30pm is one of the most anticipated college football games in history. The Michigan Wolverines travel to Columbus, OH to square off against the Ohio State Buckeyes. As a Michigan fan, I love some of the following jokes. Enjoy!
- A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a Buckeye joke?” The guy replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6′ tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2″, 225 lbs., and he is an Ohio State graduate. The guy right next to him is 6′5″, 250lbs., and he is also an Ohio State graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?” The first guy says, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”
- It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing 40 players for the Michigan game …the rest of the players will have to dress them selves.
- Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed and the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn’t colored in two of the books yet.
- Q: What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT? A: Drool.
- Q: How do you get an Ohio State Graduate off your front porch? A: Pay him for the pizza.
- Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? A: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order please?”
- Q: Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games? A: Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
- A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep the store.” But, I’m a OSU graduate,” the young man replied indignantly, “I even played football there!” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, I better show you how”.
- Two Ohio State football players were hootin’ and hollerin’ while partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. “Two months?!” exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, “Yeah, the box said 4 - 6 years!”
- A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horse back riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
- A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: “Here lies an OSU graduate and a good man.” The little boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?”
- Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. “Who disturbs me?” asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. “You will each get one wish,” said the genie. Jim offers to go first. “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he’ll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, “Fill it with water.”
4/29/2008 at 7:55am
Where are all those sec fans? Hey BUBBA!!! Get off your sister!!!!
4/14/2008 at 6:18pm
Ok osu #1 so these are all ohio state jokes you say then why are they also found about penn state and a bunch of other teams jst bc you hear it in a certain way doesnt mean thats where the joke was started so think b4 you speak idiot
2/5/2008 at 6:34pm
Michigan was ranked when they played florida morans
and ranked even higher after they won the game, pretty easily if i remember correctly. By the way idiots the capitol one bowl is not a BCS game so stop your crying
GO BLUE
1/15/2008 at 8:52pm
listen… the SECC is a better conference than the big 10. LSU definitely beat Ohio State. everyone can be all happy that this all happened and say that Ohio State sucks, while you all have your amazing senior led teams. OSU has 3. 3. This was an “off year” as it was expected at the beginning. if we can go to the national champioship on a rebuilding year, imagine us in 08 with one of the most dominant teams that college football will EVER produce. between recruits and those who stayed to see the championship a third time, USC will be no more than a needle in the side of the Buckeyes. Watch for the blowout. finally someone can knock USC off their fag throne (EVERYONE HATES USC PAC TEN)
3 years in the national championship. who else here can say this?
1/7/2008 at 5:17pm
U GUYS SUCK!!! OSU EFFIN ROCKS!!!! EFF ALL U MICHIGAN FANS! WE DONT GET A DAMN BOUT’ THE WHOLE STATE OF EFFIN MICHIGAN!
1/3/2008 at 10:16pm
SEC is the best. This website mocks Ohio State when Michigan has always lost to them. The Big 10 is just a favorite of the BCS Polls. For example, I am an Auburn fan. In 2004, Auburn was undefeated, 13-0, completely dominant over everyone else, but the gave the National Championship to they faggy 10-3 UNRANKED Sooners. If that doesn’t piss you off, I swear to God. They had to settle for the Sugar Bowl, which they won by like 900 points (34 actually) at a win 37-3. Just like UGA this year. SEC is the best. Everyone has awful games, (which would explain why UF lost to Michigan) Cause’ Michigan sucks! Delete this if you want, I don’t exactly care. Go SEC.
1/3/2008 at 2:15pm
Exactly my point! If Michigan is unranked then what the
hell are they doing in a BCS Title Game ?!?!?!
1/3/2008 at 8:09am
Michigan isn’t even ranked so how can they be overrated?
1/3/2008 at 12:02am
Ok, here is a list of the top 5 overrated teams in college football.
1. Ohio State
2. USC
3. Michigan
4. Oklahoma
5. West Virginia (Even though they’re not too bad.)
1/1/2008 at 5:53pm
I believe Michigan just dominated Florida…too bad they had 4 turnovers which kept Florida in the game or it would have been a blowout.
1/1/2008 at 5:44pm
Ohio State sucks. The Big 10 sucks. The SEC has 9 teams in bowl games, more than anyone else. Jim Tressel thinks he’s such a big shot. The only reason Ohio State even looks like an organized team that can dress themselves is because they only play slack crappy teams e.g. Ball State (oh my god that’s amazing!) SEC has a team in every BCS Title Game. Michagan even lost to Appalachian State! And were unranked but somehow made it to a BCS Title Game.
11/17/2007 at 2:04pm
I MEAN GO BO!
11/17/2007 at 2:04pm
This one for you Bo! The players miss you and will do well in your honour!
BO BO! GO BLUE! GO WOLVERINES!
11/16/2007 at 5:10pm
Haha you guys no that all those jokes are true!!!!!!!!!! u r just jelious that MICHIGIAN is going to WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO WOLVERIRINES:) I love ILLINOIS Sobody had to beat ohio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO WOLVERINES YOU CAN DO IT
11/14/2007 at 8:21pm
OHIO STATE IS THE MOST OVERATED PROGRAM IN THE BIG TEN. WHY DO THINK THEY ALL GET RECRUTED TO MICHIGAN, BECAUSE THEY WANT A FUTURE IN SOMETHING OTHER THEN FARMING.
11/11/2007 at 12:21pm
hey austin who won the game between michigan and notre dame
11/10/2007 at 12:58pm
hey zach you can suck jimmy clausen’s penis when he wins a national championship in three years. notre dame wouldn’t have lost to appy state
11/10/2007 at 12:54pm
osu is horrible i’m suprised they actually scored a game thats ranked in the top 75. idk why osu can’t get a tougher schedule when they get to the national championship every year for beating teams like FIU. Tell me when they win a national championship.
11/4/2007 at 8:40pm
OMG, ok 1st of all, those jokes you had on there, all OSU jokes to start… Oh I think I even saw a blonde joke in there…. Guess that goes to show you that MI fans cant think for themselves, they have to steal jokes from other ppl. I live in MI and I would cheer for OSU over U of M anyday. Just wait till this year’s game, OSU will put them in the ground yet again. And even though they lost to Florida last year, at least they got there, cant really say that for MI now can you. Didnt think so. So while everybody has their team, just remeber not to steal their joks and come up with your own for once…..
11/3/2007 at 9:56am
well you all you fan….
TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS ARE THE BEST!!!
the big ten this year sucks.
the SEC is doing fine….
i woould like to watch Ohio State and Michigan play all the teams in the SEC… i bet you that they would loss against at least 2 or 3 of the terams in the SEC!!! the SEC is the hardest conference in the U.S.
Well gotta go….
Number one TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS FAN,
Jaela
Go # 73!!