Ohio State Jokes
Tomorrow at 3:30pm is one of the most anticipated college football games in history. The Michigan Wolverines travel to Columbus, OH to square off against the Ohio State Buckeyes. As a Michigan fan, I love some of the following jokes. Enjoy!
- A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a Buckeye joke?” The guy replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6′ tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2″, 225 lbs., and he is an Ohio State graduate. The guy right next to him is 6′5″, 250lbs., and he is also an Ohio State graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?” The first guy says, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”
- It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing 40 players for the Michigan game …the rest of the players will have to dress them selves.
- Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed and the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn’t colored in two of the books yet.
- Q: What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT? A: Drool.
- Q: How do you get an Ohio State Graduate off your front porch? A: Pay him for the pizza.
- Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? A: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order please?”
- Q: Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games? A: Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
- A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep the store.” But, I’m a OSU graduate,” the young man replied indignantly, “I even played football there!” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, I better show you how”.
- Two Ohio State football players were hootin’ and hollerin’ while partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. “Two months?!” exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, “Yeah, the box said 4 – 6 years!”
- A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horse back riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
- A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: “Here lies an OSU graduate and a good man.” The little boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?”
- Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. “Who disturbs me?” asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. “You will each get one wish,” said the genie. Jim offers to go first. “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he’ll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, “Fill it with water.”
Bo will be greatly missed. Go Wolverines!
michigan lost to the buckeyes. ha-ha
buckeyes are the best!
p.s
those jokes were made by ohioans and you just changed the names.
haha ty is right. those jokes were made by ohioans and you simply changed the names. Buckeyes are the winners and definitely the best!! wolverines suck! =)
Ohio State was the best team and deserved to win the game, but to say that Michigan sucks is ignorant. The Wolverines lost to the #1 team in the country on the Buckeye’s home field by 3 points. There a reason Michigan is still #2 in the newest BCS rankings. Ohio State does not want to play Michigan again in January on a neutral field.
That was one of the best college games I’ve seen. It was the national championship game. Unless of course they get the chance to play each other again in January.
Good jokes. I love them. The second one about the three guys in the bar really got me. I’m just taking interest in college football since Rutgers are making a splash in New Jersey. I watched the Michigan – OSU game. I told my friend, who plays college football, that OSU were going to win. So far I’m 3 for 3. My secret is listening to sport radio and going against the sports commentators favorites.
What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the University of Michigan?
Six more weeks of bad football.
Can you say Ohio state is the national champs….wheres michigan at….not playin for the national championship
As a Michigan I’ll be the first to agree that Ohio State was the better team. I also have to mention the fact that their coach didn’t use his vote this weekend for fear of controversy. What he really feared was that everyone would call him a pussy after voting for Florida to be #2. He did not want to play Michigan again, especially on a neutral field.
Thomas Cayne cannot count or spell. OSU graduate perhaps?
Who cares about Ohio State or Michigan?
Its all about the University of Notre Dame
Hey all you buckeys, your mascot is a nut.
And here’s a joke 4 ya:
A genie is granting evreyone in Columbus a wish, a Michigander starts laghing when evreyone is wishing they were beutiful. When it’s his turn, he wishes evreyone was ugly!
PS, Notre Dame SUCKS!
those are aggie jokes!
wow Zach. Your big 10 grammar ROX.
Charlie, whats up with Notre Dame? What time did YOU turn the game off last night? I had to call it when the 4th quarter started…it was too ugly.
And you Michigan fans, what happened? I really wanted to see you slaughter USC. We SEC guys get so tired of hearing about how great the PAC 10 is.
Gators are up next boyz…. if OSU gets by us they deserve all the accolades. (that means “awards” for you big 10 grads)
Go Gators!
Ohio State sucks and i live there! I know…
Hey, michagan may have lost to usu, but they were never beat by 27 points in a game. Im from ohio, but id like to thank osu for setting the standard for over rated.
i miss bo! he will be greatly missed. nice jokes i love them. go blue!
Hey OSU, where you at, lost to Florida in both sports
Hahaha Florida beat OSU!!! Douche bags. Great jokes
The official sports drink of an Ohio State Buckeye: CHOKE Classic HA! LOL
michigans comin back and we will beat osu they suck
be ready were comin
joke: theres a osu fan a penn state fan a michigan fan and a notre dame fan and there fighting on a cliff about who has the most school pride and the notre dame fan jumps off and says this is for notre dame and the penn state fan jumps off and says this is for penn state….and the michigan fan pushes the osu fan off and says thats for MICHIGAN haha osu sucks
well you all you fan….
TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS ARE THE BEST!!!
the big ten this year sucks.
the SEC is doing fine….
i woould like to watch Ohio State and Michigan play all the teams in the SEC… i bet you that they would loss against at least 2 or 3 of the terams in the SEC!!! the SEC is the hardest conference in the U.S.
Well gotta go….
Number one TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS FAN,
Jaela
Go # 73!!
OMG, ok 1st of all, those jokes you had on there, all OSU jokes to start… Oh I think I even saw a blonde joke in there…. Guess that goes to show you that MI fans cant think for themselves, they have to steal jokes from other ppl. I live in MI and I would cheer for OSU over U of M anyday. Just wait till this year’s game, OSU will put them in the ground yet again. And even though they lost to Florida last year, at least they got there, cant really say that for MI now can you. Didnt think so. So while everybody has their team, just remeber not to steal their joks and come up with your own for once…..
osu is horrible i’m suprised they actually scored a game thats ranked in the top 75. idk why osu can’t get a tougher schedule when they get to the national championship every year for beating teams like FIU. Tell me when they win a national championship.
hey zach you can suck jimmy clausen’s penis when he wins a national championship in three years. notre dame wouldn’t have lost to appy state
hey austin who won the game between michigan and notre dame
OHIO STATE IS THE MOST OVERATED PROGRAM IN THE BIG TEN. WHY DO THINK THEY ALL GET RECRUTED TO MICHIGAN, BECAUSE THEY WANT A FUTURE IN SOMETHING OTHER THEN FARMING.
Haha you guys no that all those jokes are true!!!!!!!!!! u r just jelious that MICHIGIAN is going to WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO WOLVERIRINES:) I love ILLINOIS Sobody had to beat ohio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO WOLVERINES YOU CAN DO IT
This one for you Bo! The players miss you and will do well in your honour!
BO BO! GO BLUE! GO WOLVERINES!
I MEAN GO BO!
Ohio State sucks. The Big 10 sucks. The SEC has 9 teams in bowl games, more than anyone else. Jim Tressel thinks he’s such a big shot. The only reason Ohio State even looks like an organized team that can dress themselves is because they only play slack crappy teams e.g. Ball State (oh my god that’s amazing!) SEC has a team in every BCS Title Game. Michagan even lost to Appalachian State! And were unranked but somehow made it to a BCS Title Game.
I believe Michigan just dominated Florida…too bad they had 4 turnovers which kept Florida in the game or it would have been a blowout.
Ok, here is a list of the top 5 overrated teams in college football.
1. Ohio State
2. USC
3. Michigan
4. Oklahoma
5. West Virginia (Even though they’re not too bad.)
Michigan isn’t even ranked so how can they be overrated?
Exactly my point! If Michigan is unranked then what the
hell are they doing in a BCS Title Game ?!?!?!
SEC is the best. This website mocks Ohio State when Michigan has always lost to them. The Big 10 is just a favorite of the BCS Polls. For example, I am an Auburn fan. In 2004, Auburn was undefeated, 13-0, completely dominant over everyone else, but the gave the National Championship to they faggy 10-3 UNRANKED Sooners. If that doesn’t piss you off, I swear to God. They had to settle for the Sugar Bowl, which they won by like 900 points (34 actually) at a win 37-3. Just like UGA this year. SEC is the best. Everyone has awful games, (which would explain why UF lost to Michigan) Cause’ Michigan sucks! Delete this if you want, I don’t exactly care. Go SEC.
U GUYS SUCK!!! OSU EFFIN ROCKS!!!! EFF ALL U MICHIGAN FANS! WE DONT GET A DAMN BOUT’ THE WHOLE STATE OF EFFIN MICHIGAN!
listen… the SECC is a better conference than the big 10. LSU definitely beat Ohio State. everyone can be all happy that this all happened and say that Ohio State sucks, while you all have your amazing senior led teams. OSU has 3. 3. This was an “off year” as it was expected at the beginning. if we can go to the national champioship on a rebuilding year, imagine us in 08 with one of the most dominant teams that college football will EVER produce. between recruits and those who stayed to see the championship a third time, USC will be no more than a needle in the side of the Buckeyes. Watch for the blowout. finally someone can knock USC off their fag throne (EVERYONE HATES USC PAC TEN)
3 years in the national championship. who else here can say this?
Michigan was ranked when they played florida morans
and ranked even higher after they won the game, pretty easily if i remember correctly. By the way idiots the capitol one bowl is not a BCS game so stop your crying
GO BLUE
Ok osu #1 so these are all ohio state jokes you say then why are they also found about penn state and a bunch of other teams jst bc you hear it in a certain way doesnt mean thats where the joke was started so think b4 you speak idiot
Where are all those sec fans? Hey BUBBA!!! Get off your sister!!!!
ok here it is kentucky rules!
osu drools!
SEC rocks!
Big ten sucks cock!
osu or michigan couldn’t beat but a couple teams in the SEC!
Soooooooo suck ur dad’s dick jim tressel you mother fucker!
How bout this UK is good and only OSU is the one who cant beat the SEC and Michigan can
Michigan is 23-5-1 against the SEC dude, don’t lump is in with OSU who are 0-9 verses the SEC.
All those stupid SEC fans go suck yourself. Michigan is well over .500 against the SEC (but I give them props for beating OSU everytime they play them) and OSU fans should go suck Jim Tressels cock for the 10th time today. And why the hell does he wear a sweatervest???
OSU 0-1 vs TENNESSEE VOLS
MICHIGAN 0-1 vs TENNESSEE VOLS
Hey Cytt….Where the hell do you get that Michigan ALWAYS lost to OSU. Maybe you should check your facts. The all time win/loss record is as follows:
Michigan VS OSU … 144 wins – 128 losses – 12 ties
In other words, Michigan has won 51% of the games played between them and OSU. Math tells me that Michigan has beat OSU more than half of the games they have played together.
FACTS show that OSU effing SUCKS!!!!
GO BLUE!!!!!
Hey OSU fans, look at this data and tell me who you think the #1 team is. OSU or Michigan????
OSU vs Michigan – The Teams
OSU UM
761-300-53 Overall Record 849 -280-36
1890 First Team 1879
1913 When joined Big 10 1896
7 National Championships 11
30 Big Ten Titles 42
6-7 (13) Rose Bowl Record 8-11 (19)
18-19 (37) All Bowls Record 18-19 (37)
28 College Football Hall of Fame 32
I say Michigan!! GO BLUE!!
Just in case you Ohio State fans have trouble, OSU stats are on the left and the Michigan stats are on the right. Not that it’s difficult. The better number is Michigan of course.
Of coarse, Ohio State fails again.
USC 35 O-h-i-o State 3
I think the fuckeyes are over rated this year once again
I think it was the funniest shit in world that the buckeyes lost by what, oh that’s right 32 points. I love how the buckeye fans get a laps memory loss when it’s time for the history of the teams,in how many michigan wins in a row to how many ohio state. In the history Ohio State has only one four games in a row. And yet when you bring it up they always have a excuse, and when Ohio State doesnt win their fans never stay behind them. It just proves that Michigan has a better team and we have the best damn fans in the land. And can someone tell Jimmy that the sweater vest thing was out in the 70’s?!
p.s. if you ohio staters really think that ohioans made up all those jokes, then you really are as stupid as you look.
GO BLUE!
r.i.p Bo
haha good jokes. i mean if you were to just exchange the name ohio state with michigan it would be the same. get original and go blow your blue.
face it Michigan fans, the Wolverines SUCK.
All you Michigan fans, whens the last time you beat OSU? Last time you won one?Last time you went to a NC? Last time you won a MEANINGFUL game? last time you went to a NC two years in a row? and another thing, OSU develops their players like no other. OSU sends way more talent to the NFL then that team up North. Oh, and good thing Mike Hart, Jake Long, and Chad Henne came back for their senior year to beat OSU, I didn’t catch that game, what happened? Mike Hart is a sorry bum who talks too much shit and can’t even back it up. Oh and THIS YEAR! hello! TOLEDO!! what is UP Michigan?? Now, don;t even think you can come to the Shoe and beat Ohio State, the guy you tried to get, Pryor, will show you one leg and go. So man up, grow a pair, and do your research before you come on a website telling jokes that arent even funny. MICHIGAN WONT EVEN MAKE IT TO A BOWL THIS YEAR. WHAT THE DEUCE. All you Michigan fans can think of to do is tell little kid jokes, instead of wondering why the hell your team is so terrible. Michigan is the joke. Thats it. all you have to say to anyone anywhere is “Michigan Football” and they start laughing. All in all, Michigan right now, couldn’t even beat the Bungals((go browns)). So the next time Ohio State loses to that team up North, you can come on this website and talk all you want. But I don’t know if this site will still be up in 3025.
if mike hart is such as bum than how come he was ranked 2nd for the heisman over any player from OSU? explain that one
I’m a U of M booster and have been supporting the University of Michigan Football program for 20+ years. I admit I’ve never seen a Michigan team look so bad. I have gained respect for other teams in the Big 10 conference, especially OSU and MSU (our two biggest rivals). Reading the digs and supposed stats may be seen as a ‘rivalry thing’ but it appears to be more childish and is the epitome of an inmature college freshmen talking. Yes, U of M hasn’t been to a National Championship since 1997 and although OSU has gone twice the last few years, what was the outcome?
Ok Ok..I have been a Michigan fan my whole life and always will be even after this season. What all you OSU fans fail to realize is that our program is under major construction. We have a new coach, a new playbook, and all freshman players. Keep talking crap bc all these freshman players are going to be kicking your ass in about two years. Last but not least…At least we can beat a SEC team. Mainly FLA who kicked your ass for the Natl Championship. BTW..my fiance is an OSU fan so you cant out shit talk him
well in response to OSU..this is why every1 hates OSU..the fans are dumb and ignorant…and to answer your question of when was the last time michigan won a “meaningful” game..lets look at last year against florida…last game for carr and we beat and SEC team..which since we’re on the subject..when was the last time OSU beat a SEC team? thats what i thought..become educated then come talk to me
in response to the idiot post #54…1st off move out of your parents basement! NFL players to date are UofM 42 osu 36! And meaningful game? How about beating a florida team last year thats currently shredding the field??? As for the rest of you deadbeats that live in that giant rest stop BELOW us here is some help for your memory loss…Hats off to sweater vest for being 6-1 what was cooper again??? oh yeah 2-10-1…ohio people cant add so that comes out to a losing record of 8-11-1 the last 20 games! osu will most likely win this year as well so bucs enjoy this moment because its going to come to an end soon…If you think this great rivalry will remain one sided forever then you know nothing of football or history! national champs 11 times and conf champs 42 times!!! osu national champs 7 times and conf chaps 34…Your going to be playing catch up for quite awhile to equal your SUPERIOR neighboors from the north!!! 1 bad year will never erase over a century of greatness…GO BLUE
What does pot and Ohio State have in common?????
They both get smoked in bowls!!!!
quote OSU
“All in all, Michigan right now, couldn’t even beat the Bungals((go browns)).” who are the bungals??
“(when was the)Last time you won a MEANINGFUL game?”
Jan 8, 2007 Floria 41, OSU 14
Jan 1, 2008 Florida 35, Big Blue 41
I’m from Ohio. I am a wolverines fan and always will be. We havn’t beet OSU in five years, but they can’t beat Florida. The only game OSU could beat Florida in is Dick-Tac-Hoe.
I’ll tell you why you buckeyes got into the NC twice in a row. Because your in the Big Ten. Before you start talking bad about Michigan, can you remind me of the last two national championship scores, I can’t quite remember. Hate to break it to you, but Kent State doesn’t really prepare you for the SEC.
don’t forget michigan spanked you last year in the capital one bowl. we all know how good you are, but you seem to forget that ohio state is 0-9 against SEC teams in bowl games and 0-5 in their last 5 bcs games
How many OSU fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.
U CAN’T SPELL COCKSUCKER WITHOUT OSU!